Monthly Archives: January 2011

Faith, Marriage

Do or Die Trying

I’m going to begin this article pretty point blank.

Marriage is a covenant – that means you do or die trying.

And you ain’t dead yet.

I know that in our culture and time, that is pretty harsh. But, who else is giving it to you straight? If we keep tip-toeing around the truth of the matter, we will continue to watch families and churches and, heck, even society crumble before our very eyes.

Now, if your mind has automatically started to rattle off all the “biblical” reasons for divorce. Let’s put the kibosh on that right now.

“Jesus said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so,’” (Matthew 19:8, ESV).

Divorce was allowed because people’s hearts (and heads) were hard. Too hard for agape love and unconditional grace to penetrate. That is because before Christ, God’s people did not have His Spirit living inside of them, they did not have a direct 24/7/365 connection to God, and they did not have Jesus’ example to follow.

We, on the other hand, have no excuse. Denying the direction of the Holy Spirit, the very will of God, and ignoring Christ’s example is not a good enough reason to walk away from your covenant.

Now here is the part where I put in my little side note – there is never, ever, EVER any excuse for abuse. This entry is not about staying in a relationship where you and/or your children are being severely mistreated. As a counselor, I have advised women (and men) in that situation to take a period of separation and to pray their hardest for their spouse’s true repentance and reconciliation. Yes, reconciliation. You need that space for safety and for you to be able to listen for the Holy Spirit’s guidance.

I also know that many people experience infidelity in their marriage and that it is very hard to overcome. I, for one, have already threatened my spouse with bodily harm should he ever be unfaithful to me. But, I have seen couples overcome it and I never advise divorce as a catch-all response to cheating. You have to pray about your particular situation and see where the Lord leads you. It can be overcome if both people are committed to overcoming it.

So, back to my main message: If she or he ain’t beatin’ or cheatin’ then you need to keep going. Keep trying. Keep working at it.

Of course, I am only speaking to you about you. You can’t make your spouse try. You can’t make your spouse stay if he or she has chosen or is choosing to leave the relationship.

And it may seem most days like you are the only one trying – but the truth is that God is the third party of that covenant and He will always be working harder than you are to make this relationship work. Go to Him with your hurt and disappointment. Give Him your broken heart and unmet needs. But, then you need to take the love that you have for God and pour it out upon your spouse. Regardless of what he or she may be doing with the honor that was put into their care on that wedding day so long ago. God will take care of it.

Staying committed to your marriage is truly about staying committed to God. If your eyes and your heart remain on what your spouse may or may not be doing for you, then you have missed the point and you will fail. I know this isn’t easy when things are going roughly. I know this isn’t fun when things are hurtful. I’m not dismissing the pain or the effort. I am giving you a way through it by remaining committed to God.

Ultimately, the question of remaining faithful to your marriage covenant is not, “Will you stay?” But, rather, it is God asking you, “Do you trust me?”

Faith

Daily Bread

Most people are familiar with some rendition of, “Give us this day our daily bread.” It is an essential element of the most famous prayer ever spoken. Millions of people recite it every single day. People have been reciting it since it was first spoken by Jesus over 2,000 years ago.

So, what does it mean? What is daily bread?

There are a few things that come to mind when I consider daily bread. The first is the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years with God providing manna from Heaven every single day. In the morning, the Israelites would go out and gather up the manna that God had sent down for them to eat for that day. Anything that was kept longer than the day became ruined and inedible (Exodus 16:20-21).

God literally supplied bread daily. If God had not shown up, they would have starved. I mean, they were wandering in a desert and, by definition, a desert is without much life in it.

That means there is a natural quality to the notion of daily bread. God provides food for us to eat. Jesus makes this clear in Matthew 6:25-34. God knows that we need to eat (I mean, He did create us, right?). If He provides for the birds (and we are WAY more valuable to Him than birds), then He will provide for us if we seek after Him.

The second thing that comes to mind also takes place in a desert. Instead of 40 years, it takes place in 40 days.

After His baptism, Jesus is led into the desert where He does not eat for 40 days. The very first thing that Satan brings forth to tempt Him is food. In Matthew 4, Satan tells Jesus to prove He is God by turning stones into bread. Jesus’ response is to quote Deuteronomy 8:3b, “…man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”

So that means that daily bread is more than physical bread or nourishment. It is also the Word of God. His Word is a different kind of bread, but it is still a bread that we need every day. It is spiritual nourishment.

Just like the manna from Heaven, God’s Word is readily accessible to anyone that wants to partake. You just need to pick it up. Every single day, you need to pick up your portion of spiritual nourishment.

There are two different times in the Bible where, in a vision, a man of God appears before the Lord’s messenger and is told to physically eat a scroll of Scripture. Ezekiel eats it in Ezekiel 3:3. The Apostle John eats it in Revelation 10:10. We are to consume God’s Word as if we are physically eating it. Take it in, chew on it, let it rest inside of you, and let it be absorbed into you.

The third (and final – I promise) thing that comes to mind also involves Jesus. In John 6, Jesus chastises a group who had followed Him just because He had miraculously provided bread for them to eat the day before. He explains that He came to provide so much more than physical sustenance.

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst,’” (John 6:35).

Our daily bread provides us with life – physical and spiritual, natural and everlasting life. Jesus is the ultimate portion of bread that we need to consume. It is life. He is Life.

That is why it is called Daily Bread, not Weekly Bread or Monthly Bread or Chreaster Bread (Christmas+Easter). We need bread every single day because…

Daily Bread = food (physical nourishment)

Daily Bread = God’s Word (spiritual nourishment)

Daily Bread = Jesus (physical and spiritual life)

Lord, give us this day our daily bread – food to eat, your Word to consume, and your Son to follow. Amen.