Romans 12:15 tells us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

That makes me wonder how many of us can genuinely celebrate when others succeed? Are we truly able to join in their joy? Or, do we feel envy or indifference instead?

I think rejoicing when others rejoice sounds easier to do than it really is. There are so many things that we allow to interfere with authentically connecting with others like that.

One thing that interferes is how we see people. Do we really see them as people or do we see them as objects? More often than we would probably like to admit, people become vehicles to get us what we want, obstacles that sit in our way, or they are totally irrelevant to us. So, when the vehicle succeeds, we are selfishly happy because it helps us in some way. If the obstacle succeeds, then we are agitated or annoyed because it will only reinforce their obstacle-ness. If they are irrelevant, then we are indifferent to their success.

What if we were able to see each other as people instead of objects? More so, what if we were able to see each other as an extension of ourselves? I mean, we are all members of one body.

1 Corinthians 12:25-26 says, “There may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.”

Really? If one member is honored, all rejoice together?

Most of us do not see others in this way, so we rarely rejoice with them when they are honored instead of us. We end up comparing ourselves with them so that their success makes us feel like failures. Even if their success has nothing to do with us!

We need to break out of the mindset that there are finite successes. That being honored or celebrated is a limited resource that has to be fought over.

I think that another thing that interferes with our ability to experience empathetic joy is how we see ourselves. If we don’t feel joy in ourselves, we can envy the joy we see in others.

We covet and crave instead of join in and share.

We feel threatened instead of empathetic.

Have you ever had someone see you do something well or be blessed in some way and try to jokingly say that they hate you? Yeah. It doesn’t feel good. Not even when they are clearly joking. Yet, we have that reaction when we see others succeed or celebrate or feel joyous.

What is wrong with us?

Well, perhaps the real culprit is that we don’t see the good in ourselves or in our lives, so we end up feeling diminished by the good we see happen to others.

Since we don’t see the source of joy in ourselves, then we end up feeling worse about ourselves when others find it for themselves.

Or, maybe we feel convicted by seeing others get blessed. We fixate on what we lack or what we have failed to do. Somehow, we end up discouraged.

What I find fascinating is that Romans 12:15 (my opening verse) is found under the heading, “Marks of a True Christian.” Empathetic joy is a mark of a true Christian. It is a sign of being a part of the body of Christ.

Can we learn to see others that way? Can we learn to connect with them – authentically?

Can we see their joys, blessings, successes, and good and be inspired instead of threatened? Join in their joy instead of envy or feel bothered by it?

Can we support, encourage, praise and celebrate others?

Can we rejoice together even if it has nothing to do with us?

What about when we think the person doesn’t deserve the good or the blessings they are receiving?

Ouch. Right?

Admittedly, that would be a really hard thing to do. But, the problem with this is that we may be comparing or judging the person, using our own standard or definition as if it is accurate. To us, according to us, they are not good enough or deserving enough to have this good thing happen to them.

Really?

I think this just exposes our lack of trust in God.

We may also be misinterpreting something as good or as a blessing, when maybe it isn’t. Maybe it is a test or even a curse. Maybe we should just let God do his thing and stay out of it.

He tells us to rejoice when others rejoice. He tells us to rejoice together when someone is honored. He tells us that experiencing empathetic joy is a mark of a true Christian.

Can we start to get over ourselves and join in the joy?

I know for me, I sure hope so.