All posts by jennifer

Faith

Anointed with Mud

Recently I was studying the book of John and I found myself struck by the story of Jesus healing the blind man at the beginning of chapter 9. This man had been born blind and spent his life begging near the temple. He catches Jesus’ attention and Jesus does heal him, but here’s the thing – Jesus could have healed the man with a thought, a word, or a touch.

Instead, Jesus spit on the dirt and made mud with it.

Jesus spit.

Into the dirt.

To make mud.

And then He put it on the guy’s eyes.

Spit-mud on the guy’s broken eyes.

In the ESV, it says that Jesus anointed the man’s eyes with the mud. Jesus didn’t just slather it on like some first-century spa treatment.

He anointed the man.

Anointed – consecrated, made sacred, sanctified, taken for use, called for divine service

With mud made from spit.

Jesus used gunk to make this man sacred, to call him to the divine.

This man had a choice when Jesus applied the spit-mud to his eyes. He could freak out and run away or he could trust Jesus and see the situation through. He could get angry at Jesus for the gunk, blame Jesus for the gunk, and allow the gunk to separate him from Jesus. Or, he could choose to let Jesus transform the gunk into an anointing, into something that would make him sacred.

We are all broken. We all have gunk.

You have gunk.

What choice are you making with your gunk? Are you freaking out, running away, getting angry, blaming Jesus, and letting it separate you from your Savior? Or, are you trusting Jesus, seeing it through, letting Jesus transform it into your anointing?

If you read the story, you will find that the gunk did not heal the man’s brokenness. The gunk was the anointing.

What healed him was his trust and obedience.

Jesus anointed the man’s eyes with the spit-mud and then told him to go and wash in the Pool of Siloam. Siloam is the Greek variation of the Hebrew word Shiloah, which means Sent. This particular pool is actually a mikvah near the temple. It was used to cleanse, purify, and make holy those who washed in it so they could enter the temple.

It was a baptismal pool.

And this pool was fed by the Spring of Gihon, which means bursting forth. It is fed by living water that is bursting forth.

The man was cleansed and purified of this gunk in the baptismal pool of the Sent that is fed by Living Water that is bursting forth. He was made holy, not so that he could enter the Jewish temple, but so that his brokenness could be healed, his blindness removed, his eyes opened. So he could become the temple.

When the disciples asked Jesus why this man was born blind, Jesus said that it was so the works of God could be displayed in him (verse 3). So that he could be anointed, made sacred, called into use.

This man’s brokenness prepared him for the gunk that would be his anointing.

We are all broken. We all have gunk. Our brokenness prepares us for the gunk.

The gunk is inevitable. We live in a gunky world. But, for those who trust and follow through, Jesus can use this gunk as an anointing that leads to a purification that makes us into a temple of the Holy Spirit.

God’s presence dwelling within you.

You are broken. You are blind. You have gunk. And you have a choice.

You can freak out and run away from Jesus or you can trust Him, let Him use it as an anointing, and see it through until He purifies you of it. He is the Living Water bursting forth. We are the Sent.

Here’s what it ultimately comes down to…

We all need Him.

Many of us want Him.

But few of us choose Him.

What will you do with your choice?

Marriage

Hunting for Acorns

I grew up as a Grade A certified people pleaser. I needed praise like that prehistoric squirrel in Ice Age needed that acorn. I did everything I could to receive positive, encouraging, uplifting words from those around me. It filled me up. It drove me on. It made everything right in my little world.

When I didn’t receive any sort of feedback, I was disappointed beyond description. Like that poor squirrel staring at his acorn frozen inside a glacier. What I needed so badly was right there inside this other person, yet I couldn’t do anything to get it out of them.

What was worse was when I received any sort of criticism. That brought my world to a screeching halt. It didn’t matter what form it took – a look, a sigh, a body posture, a tone of voice, a word, a phrase, or an action. It was worse than just not getting praise; more than just not finding my acorn. It was like watching the acorn I had worked so hard for be decimated in front of me.

While I have since overcome this people pleasing addiction, I must admit that I still struggle with criticism. That’s the focus of this article – the power of criticism.

Now, I’m about to let all the ladies in on a little known fact. So, listen up ladies. This is the key to the typical man. Yes, I said THE KEY and I’m not exaggerating.

Most men – in fact, I would venture to say the vast majority of men – are praise-acorn chasing squirrels. They want it. They thrive on it. I believe they need it. Praise. Encouragement. Support. Faith. Respect. They collect them and hoard them away like acorns as if facing an impending eternal winter.

Withholding it from him is like freezing the acorn in a glacier. That’s harsh.

But, criticizing him is like destroying the acorn right in front of him. If the criticism is bad enough, then you’re reaching into his stored up stash of positivity and destroying it too.

I’m not exaggerating.

I’m 100% serious right now.

This is the real deal.

Criticism is like kryptonite to a man.

It can show up in a look you give him, in your body language, in a sigh, in your tone of voice, in the words you choose to use, in your overall interaction with him.

This might not make sense to you. You probably don’t think it’s that bad or that you do it that much or that it affects him that deeply. Here’s the truth – it is that bad; you do it more than you think; and it does affect him deeply.

Consider what your acorn is instead. Maybe it’s affection. Maybe it’s compliments. Maybe it’s help around the house or with the kids. Maybe it is time alone with him. Maybe it is actual, meaningful conversation. Whatever it is for you – that thing that drives you, that you crave more of, that you store up like those acorns before an impending eternal winter – bring it to mind.

Picture what it feels like to get one. Imagine what it feels like to have one withheld just out of reach. Remember what it felt like to have it destroyed in front of you or, worse, to have what you had saved up demolished in one shot.

Just because you hunt different acorns, doesn’t mean his are any less valuable.

Quit trying to feed him your kind of acorn and instead realize that you have an endless supply of his kind right inside of you. You have kind words. You have praise. You have encouragement. You have respect that you can give your man any time you want.

The question is, are you willing? Are you willing to be mindful of what your man needs? Are you willing to serve him by giving him what he needs? Are you willing to pause your own fervid hunt for affection-acorns in order to contribute to his hunt for praise-acorns?

In my humble opinion, it really ultimately comes down to what kind of man you want to have – one that is well-fed and confident because of his plentiful store of acorns or one that is angry, defensive, starving and also highly unmotivated to share with you the stash of your kind of acorns that he carries around inside of him.

Faith, Family, Marriage

Revolutionary Man – the June eNewsletter

It is terrible to watch societal trends swing from one extreme to the other like a big pendulum. We moved from total frigidity in the Victorian era to total liberality in our modern era. We went from women having no rights to a brand of feminism that many have taken to the militant degree.

For this newsletter, I want to focus upon the pendulum that has swung in regard to men. Men used to hold all the power and authority. They were the only ones counted as people in a census. They had the money and the property. They made all the decisions for society. We actually still see this attitude in some cultures around the world today.

I will be the first one to stand up and cheer that this particular brand of masculinity is not the norm in America anymore. But, I will also be the first one to stand up for men against the male-bashing that the feminists have acquired as their favorite pastime. Just watch any sitcom and the father is the butt of all the jokes. The mother is the strong one while the father is the schmuck. The wife is the smart one while the husband is the fool.

I believe that God did not intend for either gender to be regarded in a negative or lowly way. Neither gender is superior or meant to rule over the other. Men and women were designed in tandem, to come together as a strong partnership, both equally made in God’s image and infused with natural talents and spiritual gifts.

In honor of Father’s Day, I want to honor the man that God created men to be.

FAITH
I have heard the arguments that place great significance on the fact that God created man before woman. I have also heard the theory that Adam had no gender until God created Eve because the word adama is the generic term for humanity, not the term for the male gender. I don’t know that I have been persuaded to a particular argument, but the fact that both claims can be made shows that we are applying human wisdom and reasoning to God’s design. Which means we have it wrong no matter what we argue.

There is no argument, however, that God made male and female people just like He made male and female animals and plant-life. His design is for the two elements to come together; to partner for God’s larger plan. Each gender has a part and each gender is to do their part to the glory of God, for the benefit of their partner, and for the greater good of their community.

I believe each gender embodies unique aspects of God’s nature. God is described as both Father and Mother in the Old Testament. He is ascribed both masculine and feminine characteristics. When man and woman come together, they are bringing into union the aspects of God’s nature that they each uniquely reflect.

When that union is centered on Christ, then actual oneness is achieved. He is the bond the keeps the two together. He makes it possible for the two parts to become a beautiful whole. You honor God when you honor man. You honor God when you honor woman. You honor God when you honor His design for bringing them together in harmony and union. Not just in a marriage way, but in a family and community.

MARRIAGE
Marriage brings together a man and woman and makes them one, so that they are no longer two separate entities with separate goals and separate futures. They have become one, a strong partnership intended for life.

Outside of marriage, men and women still work best together because they bring balance. They see the world differently. They experience life differently. When the genders work together, God’s creation is honored and blessed. When the balance is disturbed, we find oppression, injustice, and even abuse.

I want to highlight a few of the male qualities of this union. I am speaking in generalities, so all men will find themselves somewhere between weakly possessing these qualities and strongly possessing them. The point is to celebrate the way that God made men overall.

Generally speaking, men possess an innate desire to protect and provide for their family. In Genesis 2, it says that God put the man in the Garden to work it. The woman is to help, but the onus of the job rests on the man. All cultures since creation have reflected this quality in men. Anthropology, sociology, and psychology all support that there is a difference between the genders when it comes to working, providing, and protecting – and clearly it is one of God’s strongest qualities too.

Men are more left-brained, meaning they are more logical and systematic in their thinking. Numbers, space, distance, time, and speed are easier for them to understand and to calculate. They are generally less emotionally-driven in decision-making. In fact, most men are capable of bypassing the emotional center of their amygdale so they can focus on the task at hand and not allow emotions to overwhelm what needs to be done. Additionally, they tend to be more action-oriented and competitive. This is why men tend to be soldiers, engineers, construction workers, lawyers and doctors (especially surgeons).

God made men with these natural abilities, tendencies, and talents to complement and work in conjunction with the way He created women. These are wonderfully masculine qualities, without which our world would suffer.

FAMILY
It is obvious that one of the biggest problems in American culture is the lack of fathers. When divorce rates and out-of-wedlock births skyrocketed, so did single-parent homes. We have been living with the long-term consequences of this trend for a while now and it is apparent that we are suffering without men in families.

Adolescents raised in single-parent homes have higher rates of sexual activity, drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy, sexual and physical abuse, living in poverty, crime and incarceration.

Clearly, children need their fathers. Men play a significant role in the health and well-being of their families. Not just because they tend to be the protectors and providers, but because of the contributions their gender brings to the family dynamic.

Imagine what life would be like without the masculine qualities of God. What if God didn’t provide for us? What if He didn’t protect us? What if He didn’t think logically? What if He had no clear big-picture in mind? What if God lacked action?
How can we find that reality horrifying, yet believe it makes no difference to raise kids without their fathers?

FINAL THOUGHTS
Children need fathers, but the kind of fathers that love God, love their wives, and live for the good of their families. Wives need husbands who love them as God loves us; who seek strong partnerships with them. Society needs strong, godly men who don’t seek their own good, who don’t seek to win and glorify themselves, and who don’t strive for a position of authority.

God made no mistakes when He made men. God made them in His image. God infused them with aspects of His nature. God designed them to be in relationship with Him, to be one with their wives, and to be a positive influence over their children.

This Father’s Day, let us pause and reflect on how important it is to have our men. Let us honor the significance of fathers. Let us recognize that life is better when men and women come together in strong partnerships, uniting their strengths, and working in harmony. Society is failed when the pendulum swings men into the role of controlling, domineering overlords. And it is failed when the pendulum swings men into being insignificant, unnecessary, and inferior. We need the men that God designed man to be.

Let us honor our Heavenly Father by honoring His creation of earthly fathers. Not just for a day, but for every day.

Family

I Carry Your Heart

This week I experienced just how profoundly wonderful it is to have someone that you can call at 4:30 in the morning. Someone who not only answers the phone, but runs to where you need her to be at that particular moment. I write and teach a lot on family and usually I am talking about the parent-child relationship, but today I have been reflecting on the relationships that we have with people that are so strong and so close that they have become family.

I think most of us know a lot of people, even if we just know them in passing. We hear someone mention a name and we have a face and an experience to put with it. I heard once that the brain can recognize something like a thousand different faces. We have the capacity to know a lot of people, but we do not bond with each person that we know. A bond is something much, much more.

The people that we bond with are given pieces of our heart, of our person. The bigger the bond, the bigger the piece and the more irrevocably theirs the piece becomes. When you are with someone who possesses a piece of your heart, you feel complete, loved, known, whole. But, when you lose someone who possesses a piece of your heart, you feel incomplete and not a little bit lost.

I spend a lot of time talking about the bond we have with Christ through the indwelling of His Spirit, the bond that is shared in a marriage, and the bond that is shared between parent and child. But everything that I teach on protecting, deepening, and strengthening those bonds is just as applicable to the other bonds we share with people. And applying such things to these relationships is incredibly important because when these bonds are broken, our hearts are irrevocably broken too.

I have pieces of my heart that I have given away, never gotten back, and thus remain fractured and incomplete over. I still grieve these relationships, but I use this grief as a reminder to protect the bonds that I still have and to use discernment in forming new ones. Discernment is not the same as guardedness. Trust me, I did that for a very long time. I shut people out, kept them at arm’s length, and guarded myself from potential hurt. Unfortunately, I also guarded myself from potential joy in the process. No, discernment is listening to your heart, to your mind, and to your spirit when choosing the people that you spend time with, that you value, and that you give your heart to.

When I stop and listen to my heart, mind, and spirit now, I can sense my kindred spirits, my soul mates, the sisters of my heart. I thoroughly love each one of them. They are sisters that were not born into that role, but who have claimed it nonetheless. They are the ones that I can call in a crisis at 4:30am and know that they will come running. And they are so very special to me.

For them, I dedicate this poem by e.e. cummings.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Faith

Ahab – And I’m Not Talking Moby Dick

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” – Deuteronomy 6:5

Jesus named this commandment as the greatest. And not just Muhammad Ali greatest. It actually is THE GREATEST or the commandment of first importance. The word in Greek for greatest is protos, from which we get the English word prototype.

Everything else in our faith and in our Scriptures comes from, hinges off of, refers back to, would be moot without this commandment.

So, do you know what it means?

Do you give it much thought?

If everything you believe and do is nothing without loving God with your entire being, shouldn’t it hold a pivotal place in your awareness?

I think the reason it doesn’t is because we read it as hyperbole. Exaggeration. Symbolic or metaphor.

How can you possibly love God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength? Not possible, right? Maybe.

So, then, what do we do? We can’t fathom it. We can’t understand it. We don’t know the first thing about doing it. It seems too hard, too much, too (insert other doubt, concern, or fear here).

Let’s break it down and see if we can’t find some answers because I believe God gave His commandments literally, not as metaphor.

Love in Hebrew is “ahab.” It is pronounced awe-have. It means to breathe after something. If you think about breathing, you take air into your lungs and from your lungs it gets dispersed to every other part of your body. Your blood carries it everywhere.

That is how God wants us to be for Him. He wants us to take Him in and make Him a part of ourselves. He wants to be a part of our hearts, our souls, and our bodies. He wants you to take Him into these aspects of your being. He wants every part of you to need Him.

If you were to keep reading in Deuteronomy 6, you would find some specific ideas offered by God on how you can begin to do that.

The first is to have His Word upon your heart. That means you need to be in the Bible. And don’t just read it to get through it; read it to consume it, devour it, be nourished by it.

Get into your Bible and read it for the purpose of taking it in and making it a part of you.

The second idea that God offers is to talk about Him. A lot. Like when you sit at home, when you are driving around, when you are getting ready for bed, and when you are getting ready in the morning. The more you talk about Him, the more dispersed His presence becomes in your life.

Make spiritual talk a natural part of your everyday life.

The third idea is to put reminders of God on your body. Carry Him with you physically. Maybe you get a travel Bible and keep it in your car or your purse or your backpack. Maybe you wear some jewelry or clothing that bears a cross or some other thing that makes you think of God. Maybe you just start cleaning up your language.

Make your outside match your inside.

The last idea that God gives is to make Him a part of your home. For some that may mean putting Scriptures on the walls or hanging plaques that bear verses or prayers. For others it may mean putting out crosses. Perhaps laying out Bibles. Maybe playing Christian music or movies. More importantly, it would be in how you treat your family. When others walk into your home, do they sense a difference? Do they perceive that they just walked into a Christian home?

Make your house a house of God.

So now you have some ideas that will help you start to breathe after God. I hope you don’t take little shallow breaths. My prayer is that you breathe in deeply. Take Jesus into your being and let Him permeate all its various parts.

“Ahab the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”

Faith, Family

They’re Kissing Again!

As I am making dinner one evening, I turn into my husband’s arms for a quick kiss as I hear the pitter-patter of little feet coming down the hallway. My older son didn’t announce himself or proclaim what he wanted. Instead, he yelled down the hallway to his younger brother, “They’re kissing again!” Emphasis was added to the “again.” He then ran back to his brother. I never knew why he came into the kitchen.

My husband and I both laughed over that particular moment, but as I have reflected upon it, I am grateful that my son feels that it is commonplace to see his parents exchange affection. A child’s home environment and interactions with parents plays a humongous role in establishing their belief system from which they make decisions and have relationships of their own.

I’m sure many of you have heard the phrase, “More is caught than is taught.” Because of the inherent deceitfulness of humanity, we have learned to trust actions more than words. We also remember actions better than words because it involves more of our senses.

Don’t get me wrong, the words are important. However, children are shaped by what they experience more than by the words they hear.

That’s pretty scary to hear. (Do I hear an ‘Amen’ from some of you parents?)

My children are going to be shaped primarily by their encounters with me – by my actions. I will be the first to confess that there are too many times when I look back and grimace at my actions. I am a sinner and continually, daily, fall short.

No wonder old-time psychiatrists always blamed the mother. Not that it’s true. But, seriously, how responsible, mindful, and intentional are we being with the influence we have on our children?

I realized a long time ago that there is no way I can do everything correctly with my kids. It is impossible for me to instill in them absolutely every virtue.

I mean, let’s get real. I don’t possess every virtue, so how I could I possibly pass them onto my children?

Instead, my husband and I sat down several years ago and wrote out a family covenant. We prayed about it and thought about it and did a lot of soul-searching to narrow our priorities as parents down to a Top 5 list.

Our goal is to focus upon 5 characteristics, values, or virtues. I’m sure they will pick up others in the process, but by narrowing our focus I believe our chances for success are so much greater.

I will share with you our Top 5, but each family is unique and needs to pray about their own Top 5.

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The Miller Family Covenant:

We proclaim that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior. We commit to loving God with all of our heart, our soul, our strength. We will live by the Spirit and seek God’s will in all that we do. We will make Christ the center of our lives and our family; striving to become more like Him each day. (Inspired by Deuteronomy 6:5-7; Joshua 24:15; James 4:7,10)

We commit to forever seeking to be imitators of God. We will strive for honesty, integrity, responsibility, humility, and loyalty. We will keep our commitments and follow-through on our promises. We will be witnesses with our actions and our words. We will make all that we do an act of worship. We will be what we believe. (Inspired by Colossians 3:23-24; James 2:18b)

We offer to one another the unconditional love that Christ has given us. We commit to being the tangible expression of God’s love for us. We will live with grace and compassion for one another, offering forgiveness and mercy. We will seek to understand, accept, and honor one another. (Inspired by Colossians 3:12-14; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

We will show one another respect by both our words and our actions. We will be kind to one another, offering encouragement and support. We dedicate our lives to serving our God, our family, and others. (Inspired by Ephesians 4:29,32; Ephesians 5:21; Luke 6:31)

In all that we do, we will give God the glory. We acknowledge that all good things come from Him. We will be content with what we are given and be grateful in all circumstances. We will not worry because we trust that God will provide for us and protect us. We will be ready to share what we have with those that are in need. (Inspired by Philippians 4:11-13; Luke 12:15)

—

As you can see, we want our family to focus on loving and following Christ, having integrity and humility, being loving and respectful, and being content through gratitude.

When I see my children say and do things on their own that display these qualities, I know that I am on the right track. If I had no goal or if I had the goal of everything, I would be lost in my parenting. By narrowing my focus and making my faith the foundation of my life, marriage, and family, I have a target to aim for. I have a guide to align myself with.

So, yeah, hearing my son exclaim, “They’re kissing again!” makes me very happy. Glory be to God.

Faith, Marriage

Do or Die Trying

I’m going to begin this article pretty point blank.

Marriage is a covenant – that means you do or die trying.

And you ain’t dead yet.

I know that in our culture and time, that is pretty harsh. But, who else is giving it to you straight? If we keep tip-toeing around the truth of the matter, we will continue to watch families and churches and, heck, even society crumble before our very eyes.

Now, if your mind has automatically started to rattle off all the “biblical” reasons for divorce. Let’s put the kibosh on that right now.

“Jesus said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so,’” (Matthew 19:8, ESV).

Divorce was allowed because people’s hearts (and heads) were hard. Too hard for agape love and unconditional grace to penetrate. That is because before Christ, God’s people did not have His Spirit living inside of them, they did not have a direct 24/7/365 connection to God, and they did not have Jesus’ example to follow.

We, on the other hand, have no excuse. Denying the direction of the Holy Spirit, the very will of God, and ignoring Christ’s example is not a good enough reason to walk away from your covenant.

Now here is the part where I put in my little side note – there is never, ever, EVER any excuse for abuse. This entry is not about staying in a relationship where you and/or your children are being severely mistreated. As a counselor, I have advised women (and men) in that situation to take a period of separation and to pray their hardest for their spouse’s true repentance and reconciliation. Yes, reconciliation. You need that space for safety and for you to be able to listen for the Holy Spirit’s guidance.

I also know that many people experience infidelity in their marriage and that it is very hard to overcome. I, for one, have already threatened my spouse with bodily harm should he ever be unfaithful to me. But, I have seen couples overcome it and I never advise divorce as a catch-all response to cheating. You have to pray about your particular situation and see where the Lord leads you. It can be overcome if both people are committed to overcoming it.

So, back to my main message: If she or he ain’t beatin’ or cheatin’ then you need to keep going. Keep trying. Keep working at it.

Of course, I am only speaking to you about you. You can’t make your spouse try. You can’t make your spouse stay if he or she has chosen or is choosing to leave the relationship.

And it may seem most days like you are the only one trying – but the truth is that God is the third party of that covenant and He will always be working harder than you are to make this relationship work. Go to Him with your hurt and disappointment. Give Him your broken heart and unmet needs. But, then you need to take the love that you have for God and pour it out upon your spouse. Regardless of what he or she may be doing with the honor that was put into their care on that wedding day so long ago. God will take care of it.

Staying committed to your marriage is truly about staying committed to God. If your eyes and your heart remain on what your spouse may or may not be doing for you, then you have missed the point and you will fail. I know this isn’t easy when things are going roughly. I know this isn’t fun when things are hurtful. I’m not dismissing the pain or the effort. I am giving you a way through it by remaining committed to God.

Ultimately, the question of remaining faithful to your marriage covenant is not, “Will you stay?” But, rather, it is God asking you, “Do you trust me?”

Faith

Daily Bread

Most people are familiar with some rendition of, “Give us this day our daily bread.” It is an essential element of the most famous prayer ever spoken. Millions of people recite it every single day. People have been reciting it since it was first spoken by Jesus over 2,000 years ago.

So, what does it mean? What is daily bread?

There are a few things that come to mind when I consider daily bread. The first is the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years with God providing manna from Heaven every single day. In the morning, the Israelites would go out and gather up the manna that God had sent down for them to eat for that day. Anything that was kept longer than the day became ruined and inedible (Exodus 16:20-21).

God literally supplied bread daily. If God had not shown up, they would have starved. I mean, they were wandering in a desert and, by definition, a desert is without much life in it.

That means there is a natural quality to the notion of daily bread. God provides food for us to eat. Jesus makes this clear in Matthew 6:25-34. God knows that we need to eat (I mean, He did create us, right?). If He provides for the birds (and we are WAY more valuable to Him than birds), then He will provide for us if we seek after Him.

The second thing that comes to mind also takes place in a desert. Instead of 40 years, it takes place in 40 days.

After His baptism, Jesus is led into the desert where He does not eat for 40 days. The very first thing that Satan brings forth to tempt Him is food. In Matthew 4, Satan tells Jesus to prove He is God by turning stones into bread. Jesus’ response is to quote Deuteronomy 8:3b, “…man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”

So that means that daily bread is more than physical bread or nourishment. It is also the Word of God. His Word is a different kind of bread, but it is still a bread that we need every day. It is spiritual nourishment.

Just like the manna from Heaven, God’s Word is readily accessible to anyone that wants to partake. You just need to pick it up. Every single day, you need to pick up your portion of spiritual nourishment.

There are two different times in the Bible where, in a vision, a man of God appears before the Lord’s messenger and is told to physically eat a scroll of Scripture. Ezekiel eats it in Ezekiel 3:3. The Apostle John eats it in Revelation 10:10. We are to consume God’s Word as if we are physically eating it. Take it in, chew on it, let it rest inside of you, and let it be absorbed into you.

The third (and final – I promise) thing that comes to mind also involves Jesus. In John 6, Jesus chastises a group who had followed Him just because He had miraculously provided bread for them to eat the day before. He explains that He came to provide so much more than physical sustenance.

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst,’” (John 6:35).

Our daily bread provides us with life – physical and spiritual, natural and everlasting life. Jesus is the ultimate portion of bread that we need to consume. It is life. He is Life.

That is why it is called Daily Bread, not Weekly Bread or Monthly Bread or Chreaster Bread (Christmas+Easter). We need bread every single day because…

Daily Bread = food (physical nourishment)

Daily Bread = God’s Word (spiritual nourishment)

Daily Bread = Jesus (physical and spiritual life)

Lord, give us this day our daily bread – food to eat, your Word to consume, and your Son to follow. Amen.

Marriage

Whoa, That Lovin’ Feeling

“Bring back that lovin’ feeling ‘cause it’s gone… gone… gone. Whoa-oh-whoa-oh-whoa.”

If the lyrics above aren’t bringing the song to mind, just picture a bunch of Air Force fly-boys singing it in Top Gun. Who doesn’t love the Righteous Brothers, right?

But, what do you do when life imitates art and you actually have lost that lovin’ feeling?

Perhaps you want to get it back. Perhaps you don’t. The truth of the matter is that you just don’t feel it anymore. You look at your spouse and the twitterpated-ness that you experienced at the start has completely faded away.

What now?

Are diminished feelings reason enough to walk out the door? Is there a way to get them back or are you sentencing yourself to spending the remainder of your life as you currently are if you stay?

It may seem like you are faced with only a few choices here: Stay or leave? Revive the feelings or remain the same?

Let’s put those choices and those questions on the back-burner for now. I want to see if we can approach this situation from a different angle, perhaps bypassing these questions altogether.

I want you to recall the last time you were extremely happy. Did your favorite team win a tough game? Did your child do something totally awesome? Did you succeed at something you really struggled with?

Whatever it was, bring that moment to mind. Picture where you were.

See the scene.

Feel the emotion.

Remember what you were thinking.

Now, did the experience direct your emotion or did your emotion direct your experience? Let me ask it another way: which came first – the happiness-inducing moment or the happiness itself?

You were in one emotional state and then suddenly “it” happened. Your mind took in and processed the event as your senses perceived it.

You saw something, you smelled something, you heard something, you felt something, you tasted something… all that information got inputted into your brain and processed. What your brain spit out was a determination that this was a very good thing.

How did your brain decide it was a good thing?

It compared this event against some standard that you have adopted. It was compared to something that you believe deeply.  You believe it is good for your team to win or for your child to do what he or she did or for you to succeed.

This circumstance met the standard you hold in your mind.

And this made you feel very happy.

Now…

Why is it that someone else is happy when your team loses? Why is it that someone else is indifferent to your child’s achievement? Why is it that someone else is upset at your success? (Contrary to popular belief it probably isn’t just because they are an idiot. So keep reading.)

It is because they either perceived the situation differently or they hold a different belief than you.

If either your perception or your belief changes (not the circumstances), then you get a different experience. Your happy experience is someone else’s sad experience because you each took in the information and compared it to a different belief. Your brains determined the situation differently making you each feel differently.

Now go back to that lost lovin’ feeling.

Is it really gone… gone… gone, whoa-oh-whoa-oh-whoa?

Or has your perception changed? Or your belief changed?

Maybe you have developed different expectations for your spouse. He should be doing this. She should be doing that. He doesn’t act the way that I want him to. She doesn’t do the things that I like.

If either the perceptions or beliefs change, the experience is different. What used to make you happy or loving, now makes you upset or disappointed.

So, your perception or your belief needs to change again in order to bring back that lovin’ feeling.

The controls are in your hands, fly-boy. You may not be able to change the circumstances, but you can change how you see them, what you think about them, and ultimately how you feel about them.

You control these things.

If you want to get back that lovin’ feeling, it all starts with having some serious conversations with your brain.

Watching Top Gun once or twice won’t hurt either. I mean, come on, it is an awesome movie.

Faith

These Times They Are A’changing

My son turned 5 this week.

One of my favorite things is to drag out the celebration over several days, rather than limiting it to one day. As we have been going about his celebration, I noticed that my perception has begun to shift. 4-years-old is closer to being a toddler whereas 5-years-old is closer to being a school-aged boy. It’s not that I thought of my son as a baby, but there was a shift in his stage-of-life and I was beginning to feel it too. My perception of him and of our context of life is changing.

Perception is a funny thing. It is limited by your senses. It is limited by your understanding. It is limited by your frame-of-reference or context.

And yet we so often live as if our perceptions are facts. Immutable, indisputable facts.

It’s almost as if we are floating along a river that has looked the same and acted the same for so long that we assume that this is the nature of the river. But then the river changes. The terrain is altered, the current shifts, and we find ourselves on the same, yet totally different river.

And when this new context of our river is fixed for long-enough and we adapt to this new nature of our river, we are back to thinking that now we really know it. When we thought we knew it before, it was just because we were younger and less wise. Now we know better.

We have fallen back into the trap of perception.

What happens when the nature of the river changes once again? Maybe even throws in a waterfall that we have to go over and be tumbled about in before we settle into a momentary serenity.

Can we find a way to allow our perceptions to be fixed enough that we can succeed in our current situation and still be flexible enough to adapt to the changes that are definitely coming?

I believe that answer lies in our limitedness.

In our limitations, we will have a difficult task of finding balance. Of grasping the context at-hand in such a way as to thrive in it. And then being prepared and flexible enough to shift with the changes that threaten our reality. And yet, how can we overcome limitations while still limited?

Now, any church-going believer knows that when a spiritual question is posed that you can answer “Jesus” and be right 99% of the time. This time is no different.

Jesus is what sets us free from our limitations while we are still stuck in our limitedness.

By giving us His Spirit to dwell within us, Jesus gave us that which enables us to reach beyond our humanness and not only grasp, but live by the Spirit.

In our humanness, there is a veil that rests over our perceptions and our understanding. “…whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away,” (2 Corinthians 3:17b, NIV).

In our humanness, we are only able to see, experience, and know what our humanness enables us to perceive. “The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned,” (1 Corinthians 2:14, NIV).

If we want to strike that balance between thriving in our current context and being ready to shift to the next without getting stuck or lost in the shift, we must cling to the Spirit. We must allow the Spirit to lead us because it is only with Him that our perceptions and understanding are opened up. The Spirit must navigate us through our river – all the aspects of the ever-changing nature of our river.

It is by the Spirit that the veil over our eyes is removed and we can see and know more.

It is by the Spirit that we are able to discern the things of God.

It is by the Spirit that I can shift from having a son closer to toddler-hood to a son closer to child-hood without getting lost or miserable in the process. I can see my son, my motherhood, our current and upcoming stages of life and know that we will not only thrive in this one, but transition to the next with an ease and grace that allows us to thrive there too.

Perception is a funny thing. Good thing we have the All-Powerful and All-Knowing at the helm.