Tag Archives: life

Faith

Empathetic Joy

Romans 12:15 tells us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

That makes me wonder how many of us can genuinely celebrate when others succeed? Are we truly able to join in their joy? Or, do we feel envy or indifference instead?

I think rejoicing when others rejoice sounds easier to do than it really is. There are so many things that we allow to interfere with authentically connecting with others like that.

One thing that interferes is how we see people. Do we really see them as people or do we see them as objects? More often than we would probably like to admit, people become vehicles to get us what we want, obstacles that sit in our way, or they are totally irrelevant to us. So, when the vehicle succeeds, we are selfishly happy because it helps us in some way. If the obstacle succeeds, then we are agitated or annoyed because it will only reinforce their obstacle-ness. If they are irrelevant, then we are indifferent to their success.

What if we were able to see each other as people instead of objects? More so, what if we were able to see each other as an extension of ourselves? I mean, we are all members of one body.

1 Corinthians 12:25-26 says, “There may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.”

Really? If one member is honored, all rejoice together?

Most of us do not see others in this way, so we rarely rejoice with them when they are honored instead of us. We end up comparing ourselves with them so that their success makes us feel like failures. Even if their success has nothing to do with us!

We need to break out of the mindset that there are finite successes. That being honored or celebrated is a limited resource that has to be fought over.

I think that another thing that interferes with our ability to experience empathetic joy is how we see ourselves. If we don’t feel joy in ourselves, we can envy the joy we see in others.

We covet and crave instead of join in and share.

We feel threatened instead of empathetic.

Have you ever had someone see you do something well or be blessed in some way and try to jokingly say that they hate you? Yeah. It doesn’t feel good. Not even when they are clearly joking. Yet, we have that reaction when we see others succeed or celebrate or feel joyous.

What is wrong with us?

Well, perhaps the real culprit is that we don’t see the good in ourselves or in our lives, so we end up feeling diminished by the good we see happen to others.

Since we don’t see the source of joy in ourselves, then we end up feeling worse about ourselves when others find it for themselves.

Or, maybe we feel convicted by seeing others get blessed. We fixate on what we lack or what we have failed to do. Somehow, we end up discouraged.

What I find fascinating is that Romans 12:15 (my opening verse) is found under the heading, “Marks of a True Christian.” Empathetic joy is a mark of a true Christian. It is a sign of being a part of the body of Christ.

Can we learn to see others that way? Can we learn to connect with them – authentically?

Can we see their joys, blessings, successes, and good and be inspired instead of threatened? Join in their joy instead of envy or feel bothered by it?

Can we support, encourage, praise and celebrate others?

Can we rejoice together even if it has nothing to do with us?

What about when we think the person doesn’t deserve the good or the blessings they are receiving?

Ouch. Right?

Admittedly, that would be a really hard thing to do. But, the problem with this is that we may be comparing or judging the person, using our own standard or definition as if it is accurate. To us, according to us, they are not good enough or deserving enough to have this good thing happen to them.

Really?

I think this just exposes our lack of trust in God.

We may also be misinterpreting something as good or as a blessing, when maybe it isn’t. Maybe it is a test or even a curse. Maybe we should just let God do his thing and stay out of it.

He tells us to rejoice when others rejoice. He tells us to rejoice together when someone is honored. He tells us that experiencing empathetic joy is a mark of a true Christian.

Can we start to get over ourselves and join in the joy?

I know for me, I sure hope so.

Faith

Just Breathe

Take a breath.

A deep breath.

Draw the air in through your nose and bring it down into your belly space, expanding it like a balloon.

Now let it out slowly.

Like, super slow.

That breath is life.

That breath is a gift.

Your next one is not guaranteed.

Breathing is something that we do without thinking. It is a simple in and out exchange of air in our lungs. We usually don’t pay much attention to it unless we are somehow deprived of it.

Yet breathing is something that we can control, to a certain extent. We can choose to hold it, release it, restrict it, free it, make it shallow, make it deep, make it fast, make it slow, make it quiet, or make it noisy. We have some choice in what we do with that little gift of life we receive every few seconds or so.

Even down to our very breath, God instilled in us a choice of what to do with the life we have been given. We get to choose what we do with our breath, with our life, and with our connection to God. God is in our breath because life is in our breath and God is life.

But, as believers, we have also been given a deeper kind of breath – the breath of the Holy Spirit. In Hebrew, the word ‘ruach’ is translated as breath and as spirit. The Spirit of God is Ruach Elohim, so it could also be translated the Breath of God. With this different sort of breath, comes a different sort of life. Everlasting Life.

Take that breath again.

Draw it in nice and slow through your nose, all the way down to that belly space.

Feel the fullness of that breath.

Now let it out slowly.

Feel the hollowness without it.

You have received the breath of life for your body and you have received the Breath of Life for your spirit. You have a choice about what you will do with your breath, with your life, with your spirit. Will you hold it, release it, restrict it, free it, make it shallow, make it deep, make it fast, make it slow, make it quiet, or make it noisy?

Savor your next breath. Find the life inside of it. Feel God inside of it. Connect to the Ruach Elohim within it.

It reminds me of a scene from one of my favorite movies of all time, “A Walk to Remember”. I know it’s a Mandy Moore film, but it’s based on a Nicholas Sparks book so it’s good. She plays a Christian girl dating a boy that goes to church with his mother, but doesn’t yet believe in God for himself. My favorite scene is when he asks her how she can believe.

She says, “It’s like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.”

Ruach is sometimes translated as wind, too. It is air and spirit in motion. Don’t we create a kind of internal wind when we breathe? So, that’s how I picture the relationship that I have with the Holy Spirit. It’s like a wind that I create inside of me. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.

I, for one, choose to take my breath of life and make it deep and noisy and free. I choose to draw it out and experience as much of it as I can.

What will you do with the gift that is your next breath?