Having grown up in the Church, I have been exposed to pretty much every Bible story there is. And it seems as though there is always a part that leaves me scratching my head, thinking “How does that work, exactly?” Moses and the Red Sea. Jonah and the big fish. Daniel and the lions. Jesus walking on water. Most of them don’t have a tangible implication on my life, so I take them at face value as stories on faith. I don’t see myself needing to understand the mechanics of getting the Red Sea to open up for me, or how to survive in a whale for three days, or how to chill out with hungry lions for a sleepover, or how to walk out to a boat on the middle of a lake.

But, what about the stories that do have a real implication and leave me guessing as to how it is supposed to work? Take Adam and Eve in Genesis 2 as an example. Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Now, Adam was made full-grown. He didn’t have any parents that he had to leave. He was able to go straight to union with his wife. This verse is for our benefit, so we know how this marriage thing is supposed to work. Step one, wave good-bye to the folks. Check. Step two, be united with your spouse. Double check. Step three, become one flesh. Huh? How does that work, exactly?

Unfortunately, reading the rest of Adam and Eve’s story doesn’t provide us with much direction on achieving that whole oneness thing. Instead it tells you how to mess it up, which is by sinning. But, it is not a lesson for getting it right. It takes reading the rest of God’s story to understand what is involved in living in a state of oneness with a spouse. Yep, I mean the whole Bible. Okay, so maybe reading the highly detailed instructions for building the traveling sanctuary for Israel’s wilderness wanderings doesn’t give us a whole lot of help, but even in there we get a valuable lesson. Follow God’s instructions and you will get it right.

So what are God’s instructions? Jesus boiled them all down to two. “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Mark 12:30-31) If you can get those two down, then you’re golden. Especially in your marriage. Love God and love your spouse more than yourself.

I know that I just left you scratching your head, thinking “How does that work, exactly?” Just keep reading Jesus’ story because He gave us some awesome examples of what love looks like in action. Do it like Jesus and you will be doing it right. If you are looking for specifics on the ins and outs of the daily mechanics of faith and marriage, it will take much more than this blog post to cover all that. As it happens though, I will be teaching on these very things at an upcoming couples retreat in June. It would be great to see you there and together wrestle with applying some of those head-scratching-inducing Scriptures on marriage.